I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
