You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
