Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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