he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
