i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
