The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
