apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
