Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
