I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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