This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
