what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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