no, he came in my armpit
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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