just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
