Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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