Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
