Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
