no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
