there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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