I look better un-naked...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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