This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
