whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
