oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
