you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
