i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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