brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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