I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
