I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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