i can't believe i had my finger in that
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
