Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
