Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
