the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
bring money and cleavage
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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