doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
