So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
