I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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