Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
