dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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