so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
