In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
