did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
