will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
