so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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