so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
