Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
why do cheetos always look like penises
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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