it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
