This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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