So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
