South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
