trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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