i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
only you would photoshop your dick
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
