He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
