He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
