I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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